Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
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Nametag:rook
THE KEYS TO THE CITY
Ms. Americana finished her acceptance speech and moved away
from the podium clutching the key to the city and the
accompanying wood and bronze placque in one gauntlet gloved
hand and with a large smile strode in front of the mayor and
commissioner of police up to the edge of the stage and yanked
up her top flashing her huge tits while pointing up into the
sky and shouting out, "GIRL POWER!" A thousand young women in
the crowd flashed their own tits and joined her in the chant,
"GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER!"
*************************************************************
"Wow, so this is the key to the city then?" Flag Girl sat in
the passenger seat of the speeding Ms. Americana Mobile
eyeing both the walnut wooden panel with its engraved bronze
plate and the very heavy oversized key in her hands.
"Yep, the key to Delta City, and all out lying areas as well
as all eminent domain incorporated and contested lands!" Ms.
Americana beamed with overwhelming pride. "And did you like
what I did there with the titty flash 'girl power' thing? I
have been doing that lately, if you hadn't noticed, yanking
up my top and yelling 'GIRL POWER!' Whenever someone asks
for a selfie or the press show up. That way when we get
topped in battle and some one catches it on their cellphone
we can say were doing it on purpose! As long as we are
smiling and doing the finger pointing up at the sky bit! So
no more embarrassing nipple slip pics! Clever, eh?!"
"Ah, yeah, ha. Clever," Flag Girl gave a weak smile and
struggled to control her eye roll urge. She decided to
quickly change the subject. "I have never actually seen the
key before. You have dozens of these wooden award things
but..."
"Oh I always get the key too. It's just that you have to give
the key back after twenty-four hours but you keep the
engraved award." Ms. Americana leaned toward the wooden and
bronze plate and pointed at it as cats and dogs and an old
woman with a grocery and oxygen tank stroller went howling
over the hood and past the windshield of the atomic powered
car. "See, it has the date and my name and why I got the
award and..."
"Yeah, yeah," Flag Girl cringed in the front seat as a mail
carrier went head-over-heels flying over the hood and then
cartwheeling over the roof of the car in a flurry of letters
and junk mail.
Ms. Americana wrinkled her nose in a giddy giggle of joy and
then straightened back up in the drivers seat looking back
out at the road and swerving just in time to avoid smashing
into a gasoline tanker truck.
Flag Girl shakily clutched at her chest and then started
breathing again as certain death hit his air horn and flipped
the speeding blur of the Americana Mobile the finger.
"Kinda a bummer you have to give the key back? I mean, what's
it for?" Flag Girl straightened up in the passenger seat now
that they were careening out of downtown and out into the
more open suburbs of the vast city. More tit jarring potholes
but fewer pedestrians to hit.
"What's it do?! It's the key to the CITY!" Ms. Americana
snorted and rolled her eyes so dramatically you could
actually hear them in their wounded disdain and mocking
disbelief.
"Ah, yeah. But I mean, is it symbolic only or does it get you
like a free double fudge double chocolate sundae at Dairy
Queen or is it like it actually unlocks something?" Flag Girl
had dropped the heavy wooden award to the floorboard and was
hefting the key in both her gloved hands now peering intently
at its surface.
"Well..." Ms. Americana growled as she sent several cyclists
flipping over the hood in a shower of yellow and black skin
tight shorts and numbered jerseys (she had somehow wandered
into the twenty-fifth annual Tour de Force where Delta City
Star Wars cosplayers bicycle raced in costume on a closed off
city wide course for charity.) "It USED to include free
stuff. And yes, that did include freebies at the Dairy Queens
but apparently somebody got all snooty and whiny about how
much ice cream a key to the city should entail! Bitch. Like I
don't keep that slut in Gucci the rest of the three hundred
and sixty four days a year by my patronage."
A Darth Vader masked cyclist splatted upon the windshield,
the impact bending his plastic red light saber, he paused
there for a second his wide shocked eyes easily seen behind
the smoked plastic lenses of his mask, before a fury fake
moldering rug looking Chewbacca slammed into his back and
sent them both rolling off into the roaring cars wake.
"You know, I think this is like a real key," Flag Girl held
the large heavy key up to her masked narrowed eyes. "And
there's stuff written on it."
"Yeah, it's Latin. The key is very, very old. Comes from the
founding days of the city.
When I first got it I actually spent several hours trying to
decipher the engravings on the key as well as trying to look
up its history," Ms. Americana looked out of the corner of
her masked eyes at the upturned frowning face of her ward.
She sighed, "okay, I took it over to Professor Whirtler and
HE spent several hours trying to decipher it and look up its
history in the city data base archives. Satisfied? ...bitch."
Flag Girl missed the under breath trailing derogatory comment
as she was peering over the key again in her gloved hands.
"So what does it say?"
"What it says is I am glorious and wonderful! Okay, and yeah
it says something about being the key to the city and all its
secrets and yahda yahda yahda. Who cares?! It's in Latin! A
dead language. If it was something important they would have
written it in a living language like, er, well like
Americana!"
"I think you mean English."
"Whatever. What IS important is we do not lose the key. I
have to give it back. It is very old and well very important
that I personally return it to the mayors office in twenty
four hours."
"Why? What happens if you-"
"Okay, I can see that expensive private school I send you to
has like no history class whatsoever. Just that strange
horseback ridding course with the odd saddles that has you
walking bowlegged around the house grinning non-stop and
breathing like the Frankenstein Monster."
"We just finished up on the twelve Cesars."
"Okay, they invented salad dressing so who cares how many it
took to do that. Geesh! Here's some real world history you
can actually use. The key to the city has been around since,
well, since the city has been around. Doesn't matter how long
ago THAT was!" Ms. Americana quickly waved Flag Girl quiet
who was obviously about to give her a run down on the history
of the city.
"What matters is that in 1918 the first, the very FIRST woman
ever, was awarded the key to the city. Her name was Ivana
Succox. She was awarded the key to the city for her merciless
work with orphans and she saved a whaling ship or something.
Anyway, the men of the city thought it was a bit much for a
woman to win the award. Especially since that woman was an
open and loud advocate for woman's rights including the right
for women to vote. So, they decided to steal the key from
Ivana so she could not return it in twenty-four hours which
has always been part and parcel for winning the key.
They did this and then seventy-two hours latter they
anonymously returned the key by setting it on the mayors desk
with a ribbon wrapped note saying they had found the key
immediately outside one of the local whorehouses. Needlessly
to say, Ivana was publicly shamed and no woman was awarded
the key to the city again until I came along over a hundred
and some years latter and I have since won the award twenty
seven times! Of course there has been a time or two where
some devious lout has tried to purloin the key from me
undoubtably to duplicate the Ivana Succox incident, but I
have always kept the key hidden and safe until it is time to
return it!"
"Where do you keep it?"
"Upon my person of course! Here, tucked inside my bra top."
"But the key is so big?!"
"Trust me, my girls have swallowed up bigger. You can titty
fuck these puppies or get a blowjob but no stud can do both
at once."
"But isn't that like the very first place someone would
look?"
"Well, no. In my personal experience most men tend to go for
my panties as soon as I meet them."
"Odd. Why even give you the key if you just have to give it
back. Why not just have you hand it back over, right after
the award ceremony?"
"Because that is what it says to do on the key. Something
about the citizen who wins it has to keep it for twenty-four
hours and then in proof of their honor to return it after
such time. Both the city and the person prove their honor by
the first giving it to whoever has been deemed worthy of it
for that time to be their sole possession; and then they
return it in their honor back to the city as a whole etc.
It's all there in half rubbed off Latin. It's all part of the
ceremony. You get to keep the placque but no more free
sundaes... bitch."
"Still. Sounds more like a responsibility than an award?"
"Well, it's a ceremony going back over two hundred years. So
yeah. Those olden time people never believed in a free lunch.
It was all about social debt and proving yourself. You known,
the award for hard work is more hard work and so forth and so
on and that is why we die at forty. Still, don't see how a
couple dozen sundaes could be considered a free freaking
lunch?!"
"Yeah, but that is so odd. You would think they would make up
some laminated plastic key instead of handing out this
obvious historic relic to whoever shows up and saves a
whaling ship? There has to be something more to it than
that?"
"Well, it's not like they just hand it out to ANYONE?! I
mean, you don't see that slut Green Specter up on the
downtown stage topping her self and shouting out, 'GIRL
POWER!' Do you?!"
"No. You're certainly right about that. But why we're on the
subject of THIS particular award and you winning it THIS
time. I mean, remember the last time you won this thing?!"
"The Mexican Maffia Mamba!" Ms. Americana shouted out smiling
as both her and Flag Girl spontaneously high-fived each other
in the speeding car while sending another Jedi-bicyclist
wailing over the fender. "May the Force take away your
license," his voice trailed off in the distance.
"Yeah, though Maffia would be an Italian term and not really
suited for the Hispanic culture. And mamba would be a Latin
American dace based on the rumba. In fact, I think we are
still being sued for deformation of character and culture by
the Mexican Government over that one. After all it was only
Pervo and Captain K.O. Wearing sombrero's and fake handle bar
mustaches with their side kicks dressed up as a maraca band
pulling those heists."
"Mexican Shemican. They are lucky we haven't built that wall
yet and still let them come here to pick melons."
"Er, yeah. Anyway, we busted like half a dozen villains in
that haul and it certainly was award winning caliber but
don't you think that just maybe this last caper was maybe
just a tad well... unworthy of such a prestigious award?"
"WHAT?!" Ms. Americana slammed on the brakes and a speeding
ambulance slammed into the back of the indestructible
Americana Mobile and burst into flames as Ms. Americana gave
Flag Girl a sour look and then carefully signaled and looked
both ways before plowing off the sealed off bicycle course
and through several parked RV's sending the spectators
sitting on lawn chairs on top of them leaping for their
lives.
"Now, now, don't get me wrong. ALL our cases are certainly
'worthy' of merit and some kind of public acclaim but do you
recall the particulars of THIS case in relation to all the
hype we have gotten for it? I mean, you do have a tendency to
forget 'things' like little details such as; names, places,
times, events, after a case is over."
"What exactly are you implying little miss will never ever
see a Dairy Queen again in her life?"
"EEEP! Now that's just harsh! Let's not get insane here! All
I am saying is you should 'objectivily' look back over our
handling of this case! I know its been almost twelve hours
since we took the case on and almost eleven hours since we
officially solved it, but even you should be able to recall
some of its relevant points!" Flag Girl 'humphed' and crossed
her arms under her firm teen double DD breasts and looked out
the passenger side window. "And by the way, I have been
meaning to tell you. That red light on the street lights does
not mean 'Super Heroines can go really fast now' like you
seem to think. It means, 'stop'. For everybody who is facing
that red light. Including you."
Ms. Americana leaned forward and raised an eyebrow at a red
light as she blurred through the intersection to horn honks
and tire squeals. "It does? Nonsense! I have seen police cars
race through red lights all the time! Obviously, a red light
means law enforcement can proceed at speed and everyone else
must give right of way to the right of law in the cause of
justice! Social order must prevail."
Flag Girl sighed and returned to looking over the old well
worn key. Her puzzlement driving her frustration away; her
young faces frowns of anger turning into frowns of
puzzlement. "What is it about this key?"
Meanwhile Ms. Americana tried to remember the details of the
case whose solution had awarded her the city's highest merit
for the twenty-seventh time.
*************************************************************
"Just as you asked and as the Mayor ordered; here is the
envelope that arrived at the hotel Ms. Keys is staying at,
The Excelsior. We believe it contains the ransom demands for
her kidnapped brother." Commissioner Bordon handed over the
plastic bag sealed envelope to, the hands on hip, grinning
Ms. Americana and tried not to sigh. He instinctively reached
for the large plastic jar of antacids upon his desk, as he
watched the super heroine yank the sealed evidence bag out of
his hand and unceremoniously pull out the sealed envelope,
and then toss the plastic bag over her shoulder. Where it
landed on the face of her side kick Flag Girl, who
immediately panicked in fear of suffocation, and started to
thrash about the office knocking over furniture and filing
cabinets, as she wrestled with the baggy, which was now stuck
in her cleavage and nowhere near her face, but which she
still treated as if it were a live vicious attacking animal
that needed to be subdued.
"Hmmm," Ms. Americana held the large manila envelope above
her face as she turned it this way and that; holding it by
one corner and her finger tips. "And you are certain that no
one has fouled the evidence by contaminating it with their
well-meaning but incompetent hands?"
"If you are referring to our world class expert forensic lab?
Then, yes, or no. That is the envelope has only been handled
by Ms. Key who then slipped it into the plastic evidence
baggy we left with her just incase they sent word by mail. We
were expecting a more likely phone call and had that wired,
but... as far as any of our staff no one has touched it. The
mayor ordered you get first cracks at it."
"Yes, this new mayor is certainly showing initial signs of
unexpected wisdom. This Veronica Latte seems to respect and
acknowledge the power and possibility of a more direct
relationship with the local super heroine community. I will
have to stop by her office some day for a... chat."
"Er, yes. Just as she promised in her campaign, the new mayor
is very bullish on working with the Delta City super heroine
community as a first line of defense rather than as a clean
up squad or as vigilantes working alone in the shadows. I
remember that Brenda Wade and several other prominent women
of Delta City were big campaign sponsors and donors." The
Commissioner popped a few antacids into the palm of his hand
and then stopped mid-taking them to watch Ms. Americana begin
to sniff and then lick the envelope.
"Uh, like I said we DO have one of the greatest criminal labs
in the world right here in this building," the commissioner
watched non-pulsed and frozen as Ms. Americana continued to
sniff and lick the envelope.
"Yes, I am sure you have lots of well meaning toys. But what
good are they in the hands of well meaning incompetent men?
For example, you have said that only Ms. Keys handled this
envelope. Well then, what did it do spontaneously spawn in
mid-air and fly to her hands? Surely there was a person who
made this envelope at a factory and then a delivery man who
delivered it to a store and a stock boy to put it on a shelf
and then someone bought it and the person who used it, who
may or may not be the one and the same as the one who bought
it, and the post office employes who sorted it when it was
mailed and delivered it and-"
"Well, yes I rather assumed we all were cogitate of-"
"Enough! Let a superior woman show you how its done! From the
initial observation I deduce very little; only that the
envelope is of northern Mongolian manufacture, probably the
Pussitin province-"
"Actually, it has a brand name seal on the bottom that says
manufactured in Quebec, which would be Canada not China-"
"That the address has been written with a broad quill pen
that has splattered... twice!"
"Ah, I think you will find its a leaky blue ball point pen.
Very cheap and probably not bought but lifted from anywhere
that has a cashier and customers that might be writing
checks."
"The black ink seems to be of native Portuguese make. Easily,
deduced by its peculiar pugnacious smell and oily black smoky
taste and squid-like sperm texture."
"I think it's blue ink and again probably lifted at some
checkout lane. The kind of plastic pen you buy a dozen in a
box for a buck."
"The post mark is a bit smeared but I am sure the cancelation
seal is of Rochefort, Connecticut!"
"Hmm, no I have to say that is definitely the local post
office just around the corner from here. It was dropped in a
street postal drop box two blocks north of here and was
picked up and processed at six am. Since they also pick up
and process at three pm this suggests the letter was dropped
into the street postal box between yesterday after three am
and before six am this morning." The Commissioner blinked at
Ms. Americana who only sneered back at him and cocked a hip
and eyebrow at the same time.
"There is an odd taste," Ms. Americana quickly turned to Flag
Girl, who breathing heavily had topped herself and was
holding her torn to shreds halter top in one gloved hand and
the finally defeated torn to shreds plastic evidence bag in
her other gloved hand. "The portable crime lab in the Ms.
Americana Mobile and quick about it!"
Flag Girl snapped to attention and instinctively saluted and
thus brought the shriveled plastic bag near her face; upon
which she screamed and flung the bag to the floor and stomped
on it several times before leaving the office racing to the
Ms. Americana Mobile. Seemingly oblivious to her topped naked
teen tits exhibitionism jiggling on display to the wide eyed
thankful world.
A few minutes latter the girl came back into the office still
topless and lugging a very large and very heavy metal case.
Ms. Americana hit a button on the side of the large metal
case and it leapt into an instantaneous lab complete with
already full bubbling chemical beakers over already lit
Bunsen burners. "Computer!
Remote tie-in!" Ms. Americana shouted up into the air and
then started making 'cushing' and 'wheeing' noises with her
mouth as she kept her back to a now frowning Commissioner of
Police.
"Excuse me. Are you making fake computer sounds with your
mouth? And, are you making sounds of Dial-Up computer
connection sounds at that?!" The Commissioner tried to look
past Ms. Americana's shoulders but she kept moving around
blocking his view.
"Sorry Commissioner but very busy right now," Ms. Americana
went on making her 'wheeing' 'cushing' 'ding-ding' mouth
sounds and then paused. "Ah, yes computer thanks got the
remote tie-in for the remote tie-in thingy going. Thanks. Now
lets see what the Ms. Americana Portable Crime Lab can tell
us!"
Ms. Americana promptly set the envelope on fire and then
collected up the ashes into pestle and mortar and began to
crush them up into a fine powder.
A bug-eyed Commissioner stood spellbound.
The Queen of Justice then added the powder to a beaker of
bubbling chemicals and then began to gingerly add in more
chemicals until she created a small explosion which caused
her to leap back in joy. "Ah! Ha! This reaction could only
have been caused by the envelopes extreme saturation of
sodium chloride!"
"Salt water," the commissioner dead-paned.
"This proves, beyond a doubt, that the envelope was indeed
near salt water!" Ms. Americana smiled and placed her hands
on her hips in exalted pride.
The Commissioner looked over his shoulder out his office
window where the Delta Bay covered almost the entire panorama
expanse. "No kidding."
"Say, didn't you just lift all of that from, 'The Great Mouse
Detective'?!" Flag Girl frowned and scratched her exposed
nipple. "We watched that last night on the Disney Channel."
"Sush!" Ms. Americana raised a finger to her pillow lips and
scowled at her sidekick.
"Ah, so. What directions did the kidnappers give us." The
Commissioner looked down at the antacid tablets in the palm
of his hand.
"Excuse me? The what?"
"You know, the directions on what we are supposed to do in
order for the kidnappers to release Mister Keys. Which one
would assume was inside the envelope you just burned into
ash."
"Ah...." Ms. Americana looked down at the small remainder of
ash that had spilled outside of the still smoldering beaker
with its bubbling liquid. "Yes..." She began to slowly poke
the ash about with the finger tip of her glove. "Yes. Well,
one would have imagined they wanted money. The Keys are jet
setting well-to-do and one would imagine they had included
some kind of directions for the exchange of said money and
well, Mister Keys."
Behind Ms. Americana the Commissioner tossed the few tablets
on his palm over his shoulder and once again picked up the
large plastic container of antacids and began to pour them
down his throat as he grabbed a bottle of milk of magnesia
and started chugging it.
*************************************************************
Ms. American frowned as she swerved the Ms. Americana Mobile
through a suburb road construction site sending several hard
hats clattering off the windshield. "You know we may have
gotten off to a rocky start on this last case. But we DID
solve it! We got Mister Keys back! And that was why they gave
me the keys to the city... again!"
"Huh?" Flag Girl looked up from the key in her hands. She had
just flipped open the on board computer interface which
looked a lot like a glove compartment and was putting the key
inside of it for analysis. "Oh yeah! So you do kind of
remember then? Well, do you remember HOW we found Mister Keys
and rescued him?"
"Be careful with my key there. Hmmm, well, I remember we
rescued him just shortly after leaving Commissioner Bordon's
office. That poor man, Green Specter has him all wound up
from her incompetent shenanigans!"
"He was sitting in our car."
"What?"
"When we got back to the Ms. Americana Mobile, which you had
conveniently parked inside the police lobby, he was sitting
in the back seat of the car."
"Oh, that's right! Solved that sucker in like less than an
hour!"
"Well, don't you think that's odd. That he was sitting right
there in the car. In the police lobby.
Just minutes after Bordon called his sister and told her you
had destroyed the ransom note."
"Well, like he said he had just escaped from the kidnappers
and-"
"And climbed inside our car? Not go up to the police Sergeant
at the desk another twenty feet further in or head back to
his sister at the Hotel Excelsior or even call the police on
his cellphone, which he still had on him, but he instead
rushes away from his kidnappers and climbs into the back seat
of our car and waits for us."
"Well, it is to be expected that he would seek the most safe
place and superior women to protect him. The man had just
escaped kidnappers after all!"
Flag Girl shook her head. "You know I always wondered why the
gadgets on the Ms. Americana Mobile work fine but the stuff
in the cave always blows up when you try and use it?"
Ms. Americana slowed down and nodded in the direction outside
the passenger side window.
Flag Girl looked out the window, "Honest Horny's Hot Heroine
Mobiles?!"
"Yep, Horny is your man for all things super heroine in
transportation."
Flag Girl frowned at the lot full of cars and trucks and RV's
which were all patriotic hued and bristling with weapons and
chrome.
As they slowed to a stop the two women watched Green Specter
kick the tires on an oversized recreational vehicle. A lone
bird flew overhead and dropped its white excrement on the
windshield of the camper which caused mounted missiles to pop
out of the campers top and swivel around before locking on to
the passing bird and blasting it into a fireball cloud of
feathers.
"Hmmm, nice touch a lot less bird poop on your ride. Looks
like Green Specter is finally thinking about updating that so
called super heroine car of hers. She has had that eye sore
since the seventies!" Ms. Americana chortled.
Something caught Flag Girl's eye and she swiveled her head
and peered at another car lot next door just on the other
side of a waist high hedge.
There Pervo and Captain K.O. where looking over a lot full of
sleek black super villain cars and trucks.
"There's Dragon Queen!" Flag Girl pointed in shock.
As they watched Dragon Queen ordered one of her cybernetic
ninja's to kick the tire on a long sleek black and chrome
car. As soon as the obedient ninja did a laser popped out of
the trunk and reduced him to a pile of ash. Dragon Queen
squealed in delight and rubbed her hands together.
"That's Horny's brothers lot. He caters to the super villain
class. Horny says his brother has more sales, as the super
heroine type like to buy something and keep using it until
the tires fall off; but that his brother also has to deal
with a lot of repo's and missed payments."
Even as Ms. Americana spoke a tow truck whizzed into the
super villain car lot with a milk truck van in tow.
Breathlessly panting behind the tow truck running on foot was
an exhausted Doctor Lactose who was screaming, "but I am
pulling a big job tomorrow! If you can give me just one more
day!" He went staggering after the tow truck, clutching his
sides, into the back of the lot, as the shopping super
villains all threw back their heads and laughed.
Ms. Americana eyed Green Specter who was now eyeing a fully
stocked Harrier Jet currently painted in red white and blue.
"I'll be gang raped by aging hair band roadies before I let
that skank get a super heroine RV before me!"
"But do we really NEED a super heroine RV?" Flag Girl mused.
Ms. Americana hit the accelerator and tore off down the
street, "don't be silly. The question is not, 'do we need a
maxed out weapon sick recreational vehical' but 'how have we
managed to get along so far without one?!"
The glove compartment made a dinner timer 'ding' and Flag
Girl popped it open and took out the key. "Looks like the car
computer is finished with the key. The text on it seems to be
Latin all right but it's not really about being an award from
the city. It's more about being given to a chosen one who has
twenty four hours to decipher its secrets and then it has to
be returned to the group. It sounds more like a test? Or
initiation? And it is a group. Not a city. They seem to be
called the...
*************************************************************
"Are you sure you haven't broken my key?" Ms. Americana stood
with hands on her hips and then looked over her shoulder back
at the Ms. Americana Mobile which was now parked under a dead
tree where several crows were shitting on it. "Really need to
get one of those missile launcher anti-bird poop things."
"No according to the car computer the shaft of the key is
hollow and holds several other key teeth inside of it. You
hold on to the circular handle of the key like this and then
you grab hold of the shaft of the key and you pull on the
handle like this and then while its pulled you turn the key
handle and..." There was a loud snap and the keys teeth
disappeared into the shaft of the key and popped back out in
different arrangements.
"As far as I can tell there are three distinct sets of key
teeth meaning it really IS a key meant to unlock three
different locks. There is also a 'no key teeth' setting where
no key teeth pop out so its just a sort of pokie round stick
thingy."
"Hmmm. Funny how with all his advance equipment Professor
Whirtler did not find any of this when I first brought the
key to him?" Ms. Americana turned away from the car and
looked at the crumbling tombstones before her.
"Well, maybe he did? Like I said the committee that selects
the person who gets the keys to the city are; the mayor, the
descendants of the four original families who founded the
city-"
"Of whom are the Rockfalls, the Malices, the Birdbaths, and-"
"The Whirtlers. Though those are the only remaining families.
Originally there were a dozen select founder families who
wielded all power in the city. One of those families was the
Keys."
"Our Mister and Misses Keys."
"They are a branch of the family that left the city over a
hundred and fifty years ago. The ones that remained in Delta
City died out with Manley Keys who was the last of the
remaining line and who died suddenly in an accident eighty
years ago. He held the office of mayor when he died. As had
his father and grand father before him. Not sure how far back
that family goes as mayor but all the major families held all
the public offices for over two hundred years."
"And you're sure of this information."
"The car computer has wifi it all came off the net from
several reliable sources. I mean, gosh, Mormons in Utah. Why
would they lie?"
"Strange the cave's Ms. Americana Computer never came up with
this information before?"
"Well, you do know that under all that Plexiglas and spangles
our main computer is really a Commodore 64."
"Hey, don't be knocking the Ms. Americana computer. I am the
master of Donkey Kong on that thing!"
"You do realize that in the real Donkey Kong there are no
Donkeys and no anal rapes?"
"Where do you get all these mad ideas from?"
"Well, are YOU sure that this is the right location to use
this thing?" Flag Girl held up the large key.
"Well, this is the oldest area of Delta City and its smack in
the middle of what used to be called the Latin Quarter. And
the only locks I know of outside of a cartoon that a key of
that size would fit are either the locks on these ancient
mausoleums or on Green Specter's chastity belt."
"Okay, so there are like hundreds of these creepy stone
vaults scattered around this graveyard. Where do we begin?"
"The only clue that key gives us, other than the directions
of giving the key to a person for twenty-four hours and then
returning it after that time is; what the car translated as,
'between richer past and tomorrow all yesterdays collide'...
and that's not very helpful is it?"
They began walking through the over grown weedy dilapidated
grave yard. Not really knowing what they were looking for or
if they were in the right place or if there was anything
anywhere to really be found.
"It will be dark soon." Ms. Americana looked up at the cloudy
darkening sky.
"That's not very reassuring. Not sure I want to be wandering
around in a two hundred year old grave yard after dark. I
usually end up on my back with my ankles behind my ears
getting ass raped by zombies when that happens. Not fun.
Especially when their dingus comes off in your glory hole."
"Tell me about it. Wait a minute."
"What is it?"
"Look here. On this tombstone Richard Past and the next
headstone is Tom Morrow."
"Could it be THAT literal?!"
"Well, the only thing between those two headstones would be
that stone mausoleum over there. Let's check it out."
"So, what's it say, Hester Day Collide?"
"No. It says... Keys."
"There's no door."
"No but there is a hole. Not a key hole per-say but if we
switch our key to the no teeth position and slide it in... it
fits. Now to turn it to the first group of teeth. There.
Well, here goes nothing." Flag Girl turned the key handle and
there was the low grind of rusted iron gears and chains and
then the grating of stone.
"It came from the roof. Here give me a boost. Yep! Part of
the roof just lowered down becoming a stone stair case. Here
grab the key and then grab my hand. We are going in!"
*************************************************************
"Ugh! Are you all right?!" Both Ms. Americana and Flag Girl
picked themselves up off the dusty ground while brushing off
their bodies.
"Good thing we have our own built in air bags," Flag Girl
yanked her top back over her dusty bruised tits.
"That's the second pitfall we have stumbled across now. How
far down do we have to go? I hope my tiara light holds out."
"I hope our tits hold out! They have saved us twice from
falls and once from a deadly smooshing moving wall trap."
"There! I think we have reached the end to this thing.
Another door and by the sure deduction that our key only has
one unused key teeth combination this must be the LAST door
between us and the so called, 'secrets of the city'.
"You do realize that using the key in the previous door
started the walls in on us? You sure about using it again?
Who knows what death trap this might spring?"
"We'll just have to rely on our wits and our tits!"
"Okay, Ms. A, here we go," Flag Girl pushed the key into the
metal doors key hole with the third and last set of key teeth
and after squinting her eyes shut twisted the key in the
lock.
There was no crunching stone, or whirling chains, no falling
away floor, or sliding walls, only a soft clack, and the door
was free to push open.
"I guess three death traps were enough?" Flag Girl pushed
open the door and then stepped aside to let Ms. Americana and
her lighted tiara to pass through and illuminate the darkness
beyond.
The door opened upon a very short passage of rough hewn rock
that suddenly gave away to a low ceiling chamber. In the
center of the chamber sat a huge glowing stone. The stone was
half sunk into the raw earth and stone of the chambers floor
and half sticking up into the roof of the low ceiling chamber
where it was obvious that the ceiling had been excavated away
from the large glowing crystal rock as in retrospect must
have all the large round roughly circular chamber that
surrounded the glowing crystal.
"What is that thing?" Flag Girl joined Ms. Americana as they
both slowly approached the large semi-transparent stone.
"Amazing. Well, apparently this is the secret of the city."
"It doesn't look like its a natural crystal growth of this
place. It matches none of this stones around it."
"No. I have seen nothing quiet like it. Or have I? It must
have fallen from space long ago and was discovered by the
original coal miners who settled in after the pirates who
founded the town gave way to merchants."
"OH! It feels tingly! Just like my power belt!" Flag Gil had
her gloved hand pressed up against it.
Ms. Americana joined her; soon both women were rubbing their
hands caressing the rock as their faces flushed and eyelids
rose and fell and their mouths quivered open allowing long
trails of drool to spill off their chins.
"OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH! YYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSS. It's Milktite! I
don't-OH!- Know how, but there is no mistaking this effect."
"Oh, Ms. A! I am buttering my biscuit! My panties are so
drenched!"
"It's OH-Kay. It's the effects of such a huge piece of
Milktite. It's driving our libidos mad with passion and OH!
GWAD! ORRRRRR-GAS-UUUUUUUuuummmmmmmmssssss! Ahhhhh. Oh my. We
have- we have- to pull away from it. We have to leave here
before it renders us into nothing but mindless orgasm starved
whores!"
"My top ...is ripping?!"
"OH! So is mine?"
"That would be the other effects of such a large piece of
Milktite. It causes the breasts to swell up with huge volumes
of milk." Both super heroines still clutching the stone and
gyrating their horny hips looked over their shoulders at
where Mister Keys stood lightly brushing away the dirt from
his suit with one hand.
In his other hand he held both super heroines power belts.
They glanced down at their gyrating pelvic thrusting waists
and dimly wondered over the orgasms that flooded them when he
had managed to remove them without them even being aware of
it?
*************************************************************
Ms. Americana and Flag Girl struggled feebly in their chains.
They had not noticed that the entire wall of the circular
chamber had been fitted with wrist and ankle chains.
"Well, I know your brains are nearly fried from the orgasms
that huge meteorite of Milktite is causing your bodies so I
will re-cap for you as," he pushed up his suit cuff and eyed
his watch. "I do have a few hours before my meeting with the
Order of Embers." He gave Ms. Americana a long look. "You
know when I piggy backed your car's wifi and learned you had
deciphered the key and knew it was not originally about the
city at all but the Order of Embers I thought that would have
stopped you right in your tracks."
He picked up the hissing lantern at his feet and held it
close to the drooling orgasming Ms. Americana's face. "I mean
I was seriously worried you would not continue searching for
this place. After all, I knew that you knew that the people
that killed your father General Wade were members of the
Order of Embers."
He checked her chains making sure they were indeed tight and
secure and then passed the lantern over the young quivering
face of Flag Girl who was deep in teenie pussy quaking
rapture. "I have left your masks on. I hope you appreciate
that. I respect who and what you do. I am not some monster
like those you put behind bars. No, I leave you you're secret
identities just as I give you the secrets of Delta City. Of
course I have stripped you of your power belts and all your
other clothes."
He checked her chains as well and then sighed and moved away
and sat upon one of the many outcropping of the huge crystal
and set down the lantern and crossed his legs and checked his
watch again.
"And the secret of the city is... this big old rock here. Not
very much of an exciting secret really but most really
important secrets are rather humdrum when you get up close to
them."
"This rock is why you exist and why the city exists. This
rock slowly seeps up its powerful invisible rays into the
city up above and triggers all those dormant Aphrodite genes
into active states such as super heroines or passive states
such as just horny gorgeous young girls."
"The gem was found long, long ago. And those that found it
realized by accident that any woman brought into its presence
would trigger her Aphrodite gene and she would lactate that
wonderful rich priceless milk."
"That's the city's other secret. It was first built upon
pirate loot and then coal and then the milk of countless
teens that was used as the base of so many new expensive
drugs."
"My family, the Keys were responsible for the keeping of the
key of course. They actually changed our name for that. No
idea what we were before then. No idea what the hell the
Birdbaths were responsible for? Really, bird baths?"
"Anyway, as you probably know. The Order of Embers was a
secret pirate organization dating back to the late 1600's.
When the city was founded they were there; helping to finance
and compound the interests of it."
"The discovery of the gem and all its powers of course fell
into the Embers fold as well. But in pirate code logic; they
came up with that, 'anyone deemed worth by the whole would be
given the key as a one but had to return it in twenty-four
hours back to the whole again.' Pirates had a lot of that
sort of weird communism bullshit for all their otherwise
capitalistic traits."
"I guess the idea was that having the key meant you could
collect all the milk you wanted for twenty four hours and
take the profits from it. But I rather doubt anyone outside
of the select few had any idea of the keys true purpose and
use."
"Well, even I, as a descendent of the Key family, had no idea
about any of this until my nearly destitute sister and I
stumbled across some old stored family historic heirloom
items which we thought we might sell for some much needed
creditor cash. And lo and behold there was some old ranting
diary. Ka-zing!"
"My sister apologizes for not being able to be here. But as I
said any woman who comes close to the stone has her Aphrodite
gene either passively awakened where she starts to orgasm and
lactate or actively awakened where she orgasms lactates and
gets super powers. Trust me, I really don't want a super
powered sister. She's hard enough to handle as it is!"
"Now. Though there may never have been any kidnappers. I do
want to personally thank you for finding this place and
clearing a trail through the deadly traps. And of course, not
to slight it at all, I want to thank you for being the first
Aphrodite gene laced milk donors for my self and my sisters
monetary cause."
"I mean that. I appreciate the sacrifice you are making. And
for what you have done! Let's face it. I could never in a
million years have gotten my hands on that key. Nor could I
have ever figured out what it said or how it worked or where
it should lead. You did all of that. And for that I am truly
thankful."
"I did do my small part to use my old families influence and
promise of lots of future campaign funds for your mayor as
well as promised investments in several prominent old
families, who seem to have forgotten all about this little
milk gold mine down here as well. Thankfully they don't seem
to suspect my current poverty. But with your help I will soon
be embarrassingly rich again! So, yes, it was I who got you
the key to the city this morning."
"And I really, really hate to say this; but I am afraid I
won't be returning the key. How can I?! I need it to unlock
all those wicked locks each time I bring some teen sluts down
here to chain up and milk dry."
"As far as you and them. Well, in that last pitfall room is
another pit off in the corner with an iron grate and trap
door over it and from the notes and my own inspection. It is
a pit that goes a long, long, long way down. Once I have
milked you and my future little maids dry; down you go.
Sorry, but its how its always been done. Family tradition and
all of that."
"If it's any consolation. I will erect a statue in your
'missing in action honor' and once I am mayor I will make
certain that there is a day set aside each year for all the
missing super heroines who are going to go down that gapping
maw of a pit today, tomorrow, and all the colliding days in
between."
"Now, if you will excuse me. I have to go back out to my
rented car and lug a very expensive and heavy portable
milking machine back through all these doors. So you two can
get busy making me filthy rich."
Mister Keys got up and snatched up his lantern pausing only
briefly at the open portal to the pitfall room. "Oh, and by
the by, Ms. Americana I will be bringing back the Order of
Embers. I was bluffing before about their existence to see
what your reaction would be. You did manage to hunt them down
and destroy them ALL in understandable revenge of your
fathers death; but I feel I will have a real need and use for
them in my bid for world domination. I know you understand. I
can just make it out in the dull fucked silly mind melt
orgasm wracked mind of your eyes."
He started to leave but then turned and walked over to the
two helpless orgasming super heroines and with a leer he
savagely slapped each of their huge swollen tits just to
watch the milk spry out of them. "Yes, yes, I think you are
both ready to donate a few priceless gallons to the noble
Keys cause of bringing back the Order of Embers and its
fallen cause of world domination."
*************************************************************
"Wow, now that was a caper worthy of the keys to the city!"
Flag Girl struggled in vain to try and pull her top over her
swelled up jugs. "Wish he had made it back with that milking
machine though! My jugs are about to burst!"
"I have to admit that I was a bit worried at first. But I
soon realized that after the initial surprise of the
Milktites effect on our bodies that after a half hour or so
in those chains on the wall it became overwhelmingly apprent
there was no way we would be fucked mindless by just its mere
rays. No mere rays can compare to real horse cock kicking the
stalls in the fun zone!"
"Thankfully, I have had a lot of practice faking orgasms on
dates!"
Ms. Americana shot her young ward a questioning look but
ignored it and continued talking, "yes, well, such is the lot
of all women that we have to fake it to make it sometimes.
Anyway, once that blow hard finished his jabbering and left
the cave it was an easy thing to stop pretending my mind had
been broken by those weak Milktite orgasm rays and get the
bobby pin out of my hair and pop those manacles and chains
off!"
"Then... POW! He didn't know what hit him! Luckily he never
took off our masks. So our secrets are safe but what about
this place and the key?" Flag Girl looked around her at the
cavern and frowned.
"Hmmm, well. Only he and perhaps his sister knows about this
place or what the key does. There is no way anyone could ever
hope of getting through these walls of stone without the key.
So, I guess I will just have to let myself be Succox and not
return the key?!"
"Oh, Ms. A!"
"I know, I know, but the danger is just too great. To make
double sure I will use my tiara mind-wipe on both our Ms. and
Mister Keys; and thus all three keys will no longer be any
kind of a threat. It will no doubt mean I will never have the
cherished much deserved honor of receiving the key to the
city again- but - but I must make the sacrifice.
And people will make fun of me for losing the key but- but-
and that slut Green Specter will never let me live it down-
but- but-" Ms. Americana could go on no longer and broke down
in sobs.
"Or we could just knock up a fake key and turn that one in,"
Flag Girl mused out loud as she tapped her chin.
Ms. Americana stopped dry eye in mid-sob, "say, I like that!
All right. Help me lug this lump of questionable manhood out
to the Ms. Americana Mobile I have been wanting to try the
new Horny trunk cell confinement boot for sometime now!"
"And Dairy Queen?!"
M. Americana paused and riffled through Mister Keys pockets
and pulled out his wallet removing a large wad of cash. "WOW!
Looks like this key to the city means free frozen confection
treats after all! Dairy Queen it is!"
"YEAH! Of course our tops don't fit over our milk glutted
tits right now and the drive through closes at nine."
"Let's not over think it. We get our double fudge chocolate
sundaes and the boys get their own treats as well and the
girls get something to shoot for next puberty surge. Good for
everyone!"
"Viral internet topless cellphone pics champion three months
running here I come!" Flag Girl fist pumped in the air.
"Goddess bless us; each and all! Oh and remember to shout,
'GIRL POWER! GIRL POWER! While pointing your index fingers up
and pushing it to the roof! And don't forget to smile and we
got this thing! Take my titties you tasty freeze treats!"
************************************************************
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