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               Nametag : rook

               4 PLAY in GNOME SWEET GNOME 

               "I don't believe this!" Cherie Leigh snarled with layers of
               disgust. "First; we come out of the ruins of Tarot after
               risking our sexy asses only to find out that the Balintine
               House really IS broke and not only has not paid off the
               bounties on our heads but has no money to pay us for our
               services in Tarot! Second; they thought we weren't coming
               back because we were a LITTLE late in getting out of the
               ruins so they took our previous earned job post bounties
               money and used THAT to buy a new job post bounty board!
               Third; some creepy ass group of bounty hunters have taken up
               the bounty on US and our chasing our sexy asses! Fourth; not
               only did they take back all the magical Tarot gear they gave
               us BUT they pawned our weapons and armor and freaking
               clothes! And fifth: I am sick and tired of this constant
               rain!"

               "Yeah, the rain dose suck." Ivanna Cox looked up into the
               drenching downpour and then back at her companions. They all
               looked miserable. There was Cherie their leader sitting on a
               fallen log her long red hair soaked with rain and hanging
               down over her beautiful dejected face. Her elbows on her
               sprawled knees staring down at the muddy ground and the pools
               of rain water. Before her was Alotta Moans who was on her
               knees in the mud trying to get a small pile of soaked twigs
               to light into a campfire by rubbing two even wetter sticks
               together. And leaning next to a small bolder was B. J.
               Knightly with arms crossed under her large breasts glaring at
               Alotta and apparently struggling with the urge to kick her.
               They were all completely naked and weaponless.

               "Well," Alotta stopped for a moment in her senseless task of
               trying to light a campfire in a downpour, "at least the
               Captain said he would try and pay off our bounties and pay
               our back wages and pay back our bounty money we had earned
               off the job board just as soon as he got back from the
               capital city of Byron. He seemed really excited about
               Seymour's notes!" 

               "That was BEFORE B. J. punched him in the face and broke his
               nose," sighed an even more despondent Cherie. 

               B. J. made a 'humph!' sound and turned her head aside in
               anger.

               "Well, at least the rain has erased our tracks and allowed us
               to give those bounty hunters the slip for now," Ivanna peered
               around them into the sheets of gray rain. The fact that she
               could still see her companions as blurry white smudges in the
               deluge meant that the sun had not set yet. But it was
               impossible to tell what time of day it was.
               The entire world was just a blue grey blur of mud and rain
               and had been now for the better part of a day a night and a
               day. 

               "Naked and weaponless!" B. J. hissed and angrily shook her
               long blonde wet tresses out of her face only to have the
               constant stream of rain run them right back in place. 

               "I don't much hold with these 'people hunter' bounty hunters.
               I have always just taken monster bounties off the job boards
               in my travels." Alotta paused again in her impossible self
               appointed task of lighting a campfire.

               "Well we can't access the job board in the Balintine hall,
               thanks to B. J.'s quick temper, and considering that's how we
               make our living we have no choice but to cross over into
               another hold and access a local tavern job board." Cherie
               sighed the rain running off her in sheets.

               "Well, traveling without weapons or even clothes or
               provisions is not going to get us very far." Ivanna tried to
               blow her bangs out of her face but being laden with water
               this proved impossible. "It might behoove us to stay put and
               wait for the Captain's return. If there is something in what
               he said about those notes we recovered than I doubt he can
               find another party of four talented females to wear those
               bracelets of his and re-enter Tarot."

               "Well, Alotta has been able to keep us fed with her,
               collegiate skills, but she has already fucked nearly every
               farmer in this forsaken backwater twice and I think the wives
               are getting a bit pissed off. In fact, I am certain that's
               who tipped off those bounty hunters about us and set them on
               our trail." B. J. seemed to have slipped out of her anger
               into more of a funk like Cherie. "I am not certain how much
               longer we are going to be able to trade her pussy for pie."

               "In that case we may have to leave the area. But that means
               we either travel several days on foot through the Black Wood
               or several days to the upper reaches before we will find
               another inhabited area. We will need weapons and food for
               that," Ivanna mused.

               "And clothes," Alotta chimed in.

               "And clothes," Ivanna nodded.

               "Eh, what's that?!" B. J. snapped out of her leaning posture
               and went into a battle crouch.

               All the girls turned to stare into the downpour where she was
               looking just as a heavily laden gnome with backpack piled
               high stumbled upon them.

               The girls screamed and the gnome screamed as everyone
               recoiled back. Only Alotta was armed and she was wielding a
               very wet and soggy twig.

               Several tense seconds went by and gradually everyone calmed
               down a bit. After all standing shivering in a downpour tends
               to drain one's will rather quickly in all things but desires
               of hot fires and dry accommodations and the smells of fresh
               breads and pastries baking. 

               "Who are you and what do you want?!" Cherie barked at the
               gnome immediately causing him to recoil again. He turned to
               run but with his heavy pack and the three days of pouring
               rain had turned the ground into ankle deep mud so he slipped
               and fell full upon his over stuffed backpack where he
               helplessly remained trapped like a turtle on its back.

               The gnome franticly tried to right himself but gave up in
               frustration and exhaustion as he saw the four naked women
               gather around him and stare down on his helpless form. 

               *************************************************************

               "So according to our friend here," Cherie shouted to be heard
               above the rain and the water fall and the mouth full of food
               which she kept crammed full from a bag she was now carrying.
               "His home was washed away by a mud slide and in the process a
               long buried and unknown ruin was uncovered!"

               B. J. had two wine jugs, one in each hand, and was taking
               pulls from first one and then the other and then both. "A
               freshly discovered ruin! There is bound to be something other
               than Alotta's body to sell in there!"

               "Even if we only confirm it's existence and report it back to
               the Balintine guard we will get some coins and maybe even a
               job's post!" Ivanna was gnawing on a knot of pretzel beer
               battered bread still crunchy and salty even exposed in the
               rain. "The capital pays the bounties on the board so even
               with the Balintine family being broke we can make some real
               money again!"

               "Maybe we can get back in to the good graces of the Captain
               again and he can help call off these bounty hunters that are
               after us!" Alotta was deepening a long large sausage stick in
               her mouth. Sucking on it rather than eating it.

               The gnome followed behind the party of four adventures
               sighing and miserable as he watched his larder being drained
               by the lusty wenches.

               "Well, I should think we will be able to at least get our
               weapons and clothes that the Captain pawned back out of
               hawk," Cherie paused at the top of an embankment looking down
               at a swollen river muddy and heavy in flood. "So, is this
               where your home slid into the river?"

               The gnome shuffled past her and the rest of the munching
               party to point up through the downpour to a short but wide
               waterfall further up river where one could see and entire
               face of the falls side had given way and tumbled and slid
               down to the river's edge.

               The slide had indeed left exposed several stone ruins and in
               fact one could see that the water fall its self had over time
               cut into the face of some of the ruins long buried.

               "My home must have been one of the upper ruins left exposed
               or unburied by the river before it changed its course long
               ago. But now it lays in rubble down there. All my belongings
               and goods lost." The gnome sighed and then grumbled as the
               tall B. J. Knightly began to rummage in his swollen back pack
               causing his lone lamp tied to its side to swing and smack him
               repeatedly aside his head.

               "Don't worry little gnome. My girl's will explore that brand
               new ruin and plunder it and you shall have a small share!"
               Cherie hummed excitedly at the change of fortune. She was
               already envisioning herself upon a golden dais covered in
               fluffy pillows and being waited upon by young well oiled
               naked muscular men. She too like Alotta had a size queen
               fetish so all the men had thick meaty dicks knocking about
               their knees and her eyes glimmered as she sighed and pressed
               her fists against her breasts and giggled in delight. 

               "It's too bad you don't have any weapons or armor or clothes
               that will fit us in here," B. J. Continued to rummage in the
               back pack stuffing a large ring of salted meat in her mouth
               as she dug down further. "WHAT!" She began to toss items out
               of the bag over her shoulder where they quickly rolled into
               the river and were swept away. "Don't tell me you're already
               out of wine?!"

               "I think I have found a way in!" Ivanna cried out from the
               lead where she had clambered up the exposed stone facing of
               the exposed ruins and was now turned back toward the rest of
               the party and waving her hand.

               The party squealed with glee and raced across the muddy rain
               slick embankment to where Ivanna waved them on from above.
               The gnome sighed and slowly followed the giddy girls.

               *************************************************************

               "Most of the exposed area is still packed with earth and
               stone and mud, but I managed to find this," Ivanna peered
               down an empty stone staircase that lead at a slow angle
               downwards into the face of the water fall. The heavy wooden
               door she had shattered open with a rock lay strewn across the
               first dozen steps that then disappeared into inky darkness.

               "Smells a bit rank," Cherie curled up her nose as she peered
               over Ivanna's bare shoulder.

               "Here!" Barked B. J. as she tore the lantern off the gnome's
               backpack and handed it to Cherie.

               "Thanks!" Cherie smiled and then put on her game face as she
               slowly lead the party down into the stone staircase.

               At first the stone passageway was narrow and the tall B. J.
               had to bend her head slightly make her way down it. But then
               it opened up; the entire left hand wall fell away and the
               ceiling shot up overhead. It was obvious that the staircase
               had been built back into the stone stratus using as much of
               the natural rock as possible and avoiding lengthy cutting of
               raw stone by adding baked brick and mortal to the rock face.

               "We seem to be in some natural cave which has been heavily
               modified and added to the structure its self." Ivanna noted
               as she followed behind Cherie her eyes darting into the inky
               blackness just outside of the edge of their small lamp light.
               "Unfortunately most civilizations used any natural caves or
               fissures in the earth to-"

               "Burry their dead." Cherie had come to the last tread of the
               stone staircase and was standing upon the cavern floor proper
               with lamp raised looking at a stone slab upon which a
               mummified copse lay.

               The party spilled out around her as Cherie swung her upraised
               arm bearing the lantern this way and that revealing dozens of
               stone slabs set upon the cavern floor and dead bodies lying
               in repose upon them.

               "I would have preferred a treasure vault," Ivanna mumbled as
               she slowly slunk about the nearest raised slabs. Freezing
               whenever Cherie swung their only light in some other
               direction and casting her into pitch darkness.

               "They did not really bury them. Did they? I mean they just
               sort of laid them on stone slabs and left them to rot." B. J.
               leaned over the nearest corpse.

               "Except they aren't rotting. They just look, er, well not
               alive but not decomposing either." Alotta noted as she popped
               her thumb into her mouth and began sucking on it.

               "Whoever these people were, their embalming practices were
               astounding," Ivanna whispered. "I wonder how long they have
               been down here?"

               "Hey, gnome guy! How long were you living in your house
               before the thing went bye-bye?" Cherie called out and then
               when she received no answer she cast her arm with the lantern
               about looking for the gnome. "He must not have followed us
               into the crypt. Well there goes his cut."

               "He was in front of me when we came down the stairs." B. J.
               looked around her into the inky darkness. "I brought up the
               rear."

               "You know," Alotta popped her thumb out of her mouth to
               speak. She had a habit of not only sucking on her thumb but
               when she did so she would extend her forefinger up so her
               hand took on an 'L' shape with thumb and forefinger. So she
               held her hand now, with thumb glistening with saliva, and
               forefinger pointing up at the unseen cavern ceiling in the
               black expanse all around them as she talked. "I don't think
               these guys are dead. Well I mean not dead-dead. I remember
               reading this book about how when Tarot was just starting to
               grow into prominence there was an already established city
               just up the coast from their sheltered bay. This city was
               made of stone and carved into the cliff-side of several tall
               hills. These people made their living as farmers, traders,
               and where highly skilled stonemasons."

               Alotta kept talking as she leaned over the dead figure on the
               slab before her, "There was a trade route between the upper
               reach and the sword sea using the sheltered bay but these
               people did not live in the sheltered bay. The Black Forest
               merchants took up residence there and started Tarot.
               Merchants and the Fell wizards from the Echo Lands. The
               people in the cliffs and the new budding city of Tarot were
               friendly at first. The cliff people sent their stonemasons to
               Tarot and traded their labor for goods and coin. They turned
               a bunch of wooden shacks and a wooden palisade into many fine
               stone buildings and a stone wall. They helped build those
               dock-lands."

               Alotta straightened up and started sucking her thumb again in
               silent contemplation of the dead body before her.

               "What?! Seriously Alotta you do this all the time! You start
               to tell us something and then you just stop!" Cherie shouted
               shaking the lamp at her.

               "Oh, sorry. Right." Alotta spoke with her thumb in her moth
               and then removed her thumb and nodded. "Well the Tarot people
               were already a bad lot and they decided to enslave the
               stonemasons and not have to pay them anything. They also
               began to construct their golems then as magical laborers.
               This caused a war between the cliff people and Tarot. The
               cliff people were farmers first and warriors second and Tarot
               were magic users second and traders first; so the war went
               back and forth for a long time. Until one day the leaders of
               Tarot offered a peace treaty. And to bind the treaty they
               would wed one of their most beautiful daughters to the leader
               of the cliff people. Everyone was happy. It was a huge
               celebration. And afterwards the smitten cliff people leader
               took his young bride home with him back to the impregnable
               cliff cities. For a while everything was wonderful. But you
               see the Tarot people did not BECOME evil over time; they were
               always evil. And what they had done was before they had wed
               the young maiden to the cliff people's leader they had used
               their magic to turn her into a vampire. And in short order
               she turned all the other people of the cliff's into vampires.
               Those that did not flee and get captured and made into slaves
               by the Tarot citizens were turned into blood sucking fiends.
               Vampires being magical beings were easily defeated by the
               wizards of Tarot and their cliff city was buried by the
               golems and the wizards spells."

               Everyone blinked at Alotta who popped her thumb back into her
               mouth and began rapidly sucking on it while frowning in deep
               thought.

               "Ah, wait a minute." Cherie and the others began to back away
               from the slabs they were nearest to, "are you saying that you
               think these maybe the vampires from that story?!"

               "The book said that the tarot wizards slew them all. But it's
               possible that some of them went into hiding and then remained
               so after their city was buried." Alotta mused mumbling past
               her thumb which this time she did not bother to remove.

               "Well, holy crap! Alotta that is kind of important ass
               information there! I mean you just now remembered reading
               this or like when you saw these cliffs unburied in the
               hillside outside you remembered it but yet once again did not
               bother to tells us BEFORE the bad shit happens?!" Cherie was
               franticly wide eyed looking at the slabs and their peaceful
               dead.

               "Well we have certainly made enough racket to wake the un
               dead and nothing's happened so..." B. J. looked about wearily
               at the half dozen slabs she could make out in the small
               circle of lantern light. "Still I would feel a lot better if
               we had some weapons or at least had our naked sweet goodies
               under wraps. Fighting an un-dead stiff is one thing but
               fighting an un-dead stiff with a stiffy is another!"

               "I think I have found some weapons. Over there!" Ivanna
               popped up out of the shadows and pointed back over her
               shoulders.

               "I can't help but notice that is in the opposite direction of
               the staircase leading up and out and to relative safety!"
               Cherie moaned.

               "Come on, bring the light!" B. J. shot past Cherie following
               Ivanna into the inky darkness. 

               "Ohhhh, why is it I am the leader but no one ever listens to
               me? They only blame me when they get themselves into
               trouble." Cherie slumped her shoulders and then started tip
               toeing after Ivanna and B. J. Alotta gave the lifeless body
               in front of her one last look and then shrugged and followed
               them as well.

               *************************************************************

               The natural cavern was not exceptionally large as caverns go;
               and once they brought the lantern to the irregular rough
               walls of its far side they found they could still weakly make
               out the slant of natural light where the staircase met the
               open world.

               There indeed were weapons and treasure and a heavy iron bar
               gate locked between them and the bounty. "If I had my lock
               picking set I could get us in there in no time!" Ivanna
               punched her fist into the palm of her open hand.

               "If I had my war hammer I could shatter that door down!" B.
               J. Knightly smacked her hands against the lichen covered bars
               of the gate blocking them from the small alcove filled with a
               full weapons rack and several enticing small locked iron
               chests.

               "If I had any sense at all I would be running like hell miles
               away from here by now," moaned Cherie who looked nervously
               around her at the body filled slabs near the locked rocky
               niche.

               "I have a chastity belt key," Alotta pulled a slim long key
               from the back of her hair that fell behind her ear.

               "Say... that might work?!" Ivanna looked over the key and the
               lock and set to work.

               "Chastity belts have the hardest to pick locks on the planet!
               Trust me!" Alotta nodded grimly.

               "Why on Earth would you have such a thing on you?" B. J.
               smirked as she folded her arms under her large breasts and
               watched Ivanna set feverishly to work on the lock.

               "You never know when they might try and slap one of those
               cruel things on a girl," Alotta nodded sagely and then went
               back to sucking her thumb.

               "Amen sister, amen." B. J. snorted with a loud echoing laugh.

               "Can we just try not to wake the nasty vampires please?"
               Cherie kept glancing over her shoulder at the dimly lit slabs
               as she bent over holding the lantern as close to the lock as
               she could so Ivanna could attack the lock.

               "Got it!" Ivanna blurted out as the cavern was filled with a
               loud snap and then the screeching loud grating of the iron
               gate swinging open into the small alcove.

               Everyone winced at the loud reverberating grinding noise of
               the iron bar gate as it swung open until it froze stuck
               halfway open.

               "Seriously! Could you be any louder?!" Cherie snapped at
               Ivanna.

               "Sorry. But I got it open," Ivanna gave a big smile and
               returned the chastity belt key to Alotta who sequestered it
               in her long hair behind her ear again. "I shouldn't be
               needing that for the small chests looks like they are hasp
               closed with no paddle locks."

               The entire party entered the small alcove and B. J. began to
               pull the weapons off the metal rack at the back of the small
               room. "The leather grips have rotted away and there's some
               small pitting and a little rust on some of the hafts and
               handles but these are exceptionally made weapons. Definitely
               magically enhanced. There are runes finely etched into each
               blade. Fantastic! Over five hundred years old and you could
               cut an ox in two with them!" Knightly gave a powerful
               downstroke with a one handed long sword and the air hummed
               and shimmered after its passage. "Magnificent! Now here is
               treasure! We should pick our favorites and sell the rest to
               the traveling merchants who frequent the inn in the small
               village next to Balintine Hall. No sense wasting anymore time
               with the Balintine guards until the Captain shows back up
               with some over due coin in his purse!"

               "We'll get coppers for gold for them selling them to
               traveling merchants," Ivanna sighed. "But B. J. is right.
               Even at a fraction of their true worth they should net us a
               sum to pawn back our effects and buy up enough provisions and
               camp gear to weather out the Captain's return or move on into
               more friendly lands and work the bounty boards there until we
               hear he has returned."

               Cherie plucked up a pair of magical daggers and harness and
               began strapping them to her body. Knightly grabbed the long
               one handed long sword and harness and the sole shield. Ivanna
               took a bow and a quiver of black foul looking arrows. Alotta
               was a magic user by trade and took a simple black staff
               carved with raven heads.
               The rest of the weapons they piled into the center of the
               floor and pondered how they would carry them away.

               "The magical weapons are still in great shape but the harness
               are half rotted and threaten to fall off our bodies even as
               we move about. We will also need to re-wind some fresh
               leather straps upon the metal handles for grips. But over all
               its a great haul!" B. J. Smiled broadly holding her shield up
               as it glowed with increasing light. "By the goddess! A
               paladin shield!" The group stared in marveling awe as the
               shield grew in brightness until it out shown their own little
               lamp.

               "Now THAT will be useful!" Ivanna smiled.

               "Let's not forget the small iron chests!" Alotta purred and
               everyone set about flipping open the oily boxes which were
               small enough to fit in the palms of two hands held side by
               side and began looking through their contents.

               "Mine is mostly gold coins of a strange mint?" Cherie
               exclaimed!

               "Mine is full of gems!" Ivanna howled with laughter.

               "Mine is of a magical map? It looks like a map showing the
               geographic area just off this coast but I do not recognize
               any of these cities or towns or places it names?" B. J.
               scratched her head.

               "Oh," Alotta yanked back her head and her mouth made a small
               'O' shape before she recovered in her surprise and smiled.
               "Mine is some guys severed head. And a ring."

               Without any hesitation Alotta placed the large black opal
               ring on her ring finger of her left hand and using the small
               beaded chain made for such a purpose placed the severed head
               around her waist. Snapping the clasp and letting the head
               hang off her left hip.

               "Ah, that's kind of gross." Ivanna turned up her nose at the
               desiccated severed head which had the chain passing through
               one ear then the brain and then out the other ear to attach
               it.

               "Umm, are you sure you want to be putting some guys hacked
               off head next to your body like that?" Cherie couldn't shake
               off her curled lip disgust face even after speaking her mind.

               "Gotta go with the others there. That thing looks nasty." B.
               J. nodded.

               "Don't be ridiculous. These things are SO useful. You'll
               see," Alotta hummed and then turned and looked back out the
               half open gate door. "Watch." Alotta made her left hand into
               a lose fist and then rapped the ring on top of the severed
               head. "Hey, head guy. Are those vampires out there?'

               The eyes on the head like its mouth were sewn shut but the
               head vibrated a second and glowed slightly a greenish color
               before a dusty strangled voice spoke from the head. "Yes
               mistress. They are vampires. And starting to stir now that
               the sun is setting."

               Alotta turned to the others smiling but then joined them in a
               mass yelp as they began to panic and rush about the small
               room. Still they somehow managed to grab the weapons carrying
               them strapped by their own harness upon several bundled
               together halberd pole arms and carrying them hammock like
               between Ivanna and Cherie with the lamp placed on top as B.
               J. and her glowing shield quickly lead them back to the stone
               steps leading up and out of the buried crypt. 

               They surely would have made it too if not for the bounty
               hunters who came down said steps with torches in hand and set
               about shouting at them to surrender their lives and heads so
               they could get paid!

               Alotta was laden down with the small chests as well as her
               new staff and B. J. had her shield as well as her free arm
               also burdened by a chest and the pair Cherie and Ivanna were
               utterly helpless with their mutual load of the rest of the
               magical weapons.

               They were all on the verge of dropping their loads and
               preparing to fight when Cherie glanced over at the dead body
               on the slab nearest her raising its ghastly long nailed hand
               when she got an idea and shouted at everyone to beat a hasty
               retreat back to the niche cell they had just vacated.

               So around they spun and back into the cell they fled.
               Dropping their loot right where they had just painstakingly
               gathered it up from and leaning their collective shoulders
               into the rust frozen barred door until they finally managed
               to wedge it shut amongst a hellish choir of screeching
               petulant metal.

               They then wrestled the heavy metal weapons rack away from the
               back wall and used it to further blockade the door. Leaning
               the bundle of weapons against the weapons rack and further
               inching behind Knightly and her glowing shield the party
               crouched down and waited.

               Needless to say the bounty hunters laughed so hard that for
               several minutes they could not collect themselves up enough
               to pursue the hiding adventurers party.
               They could readily see them behind the bars of the gate. Had
               watched them plainly flee across the room lit by both the
               paladin glowing shield and the lamp precariously balanced
               upon the hammock of weapons. They could even now see them
               peeking around past the pile of barricaded items behind the
               vertical iron bars of the closed gate and the brightly
               glowing shield. What they couldn't see was the point in this
               bizarre behavior by their quarry.

               These bounty hunters were professionals from the Hammer Hall
               Hold mercenary guild, the crest emblazed upon their full
               plate armor and heavy tower shields. Cold blooded killers who
               spent a life time being trained to be cold blooded killers. 

               They spread out in their approach. Shields and torches raised
               against expected arrow fire or magical spells; eyeing the
               corpses upon the slabs but professionally unblinking,
               unwavering, in their single minded purpose of gaining their
               quarry.

               "Okay," whispered Knightly over her shoulder where the rest
               of the party huddled behind her and her glowing shield. "Now
               that we have successfully cut ourselves off from any hope of
               escape and trapped ourselves in this tinny cell and are about
               to be either blasted by magic or stabbed to death by spear
               without any room to maneuver or fight back; what is the rest
               of the plan?"

               "Uh, working on it," Cherie mumbled feebly.

               "Seriously!" B. J. hissed.

               "I thought the vampires would wake up and attack them while
               we waited in here until it was, er, safe." Cherie bit her
               lower lip.

               "Oh, because having drained the bounty hunters of blood and
               oh I don't know maybe turned them into weapon wielding plate
               mailed vampires as well; the insatiable blood suckers would
               have then just waved at us and gone right back to sleep?!" B.
               J. began to slowly beat her forehead against the back lip of
               her shield.

               "Well I was thinking a thumbs up rather than a wave," Cherie
               strained to see the scattered bounty hunters who continued
               their even measured approach amongst the still silent slabs. 

               "They don't seem to be waking up," Ivanna noted as she joined
               Cherie in peering over Knightly's shoulder.

               "I swear I saw them stirring!" Cherie snarled. "This is so
               typically unfair! I am calling vampire bullshit!"

               "Hmm, let's try mister dead head." Alotta rapped her black
               ring on the severed mummified head hanging at her full round
               hip. "Mister Head, are the vampires waking up or not?"

               The head stirred as before and spoke in a dusty rattling
               moan, "they are awake but under a powerful enchantment that
               keeps them imprisoned upon those stone slabs."

               "GEESH!" Cherie slapped her forehead. "You couldn't think to
               mention that before!"

               "Is there anyway to set them free?" Alotta asked after
               rapping her ring on the head again.

               "WHOA! Bad idea!" Ivanna blurted out holding up her hands and
               waving them.

               The fleshy skull whimpered and stirred, "the enchantment here
               is old and those that cast it are shriveled back behind a
               magical ward barrier that protects them but severs them from
               their magic once cast outside of that ward. Cast any spell
               herein and you will further weaken the binding ward even
               further." The head made a wailing death rattle shriek and
               then fell silent.

               "You know I am SO beginning to hate that creepy thing,"
               Cherie looked down at the moldering head balanced upon
               Alotta's hip.

               Alotta stood up and taking her new staff raised it in the air
               and then brought it down three times as she spoke, "From the
               shivers beyond fear. From the time beyond life. I strike and
               all is done!" 

               In the cavern a large cloud of ravens filled the air and
               began to swarm around with ear splitting caws.

               Everyone cowered back from the mass of frantic feathered
               razor sharp beaks and claws as they swum in a river of
               screeches. Then there was a cracking sound and the earth
               shuddered and the large black birds were gone.

               "Ah, not as useful as one would have thought," B. J.
               whispered as she watched the crouching somewhat puzzled
               bounty hunters stand back up and look around them. "In fact,
               I don't think you gave even one of them a nose bleed and I
               can do that by just shaking my tits at them."

               "The intent of the spell was not to harm our pursuers,"
               Alotta's eyes were still glowing lavender. "But to make them
               pursued."

               The vampires rose.

               *************************************************************

               They didn't just rise up off their slabs of polished grimoire
               etched rocks. No they shot up into the air and began to fly.
               They were several centuries hungry and they pealed the armor
               off the bounty hunters like children pealing off paper
               wrappers from toffee apples.

               But these were professional killers and they did not so much
               as blink as they hacked and cast spells against their un-dead
               attackers.

               The slabs of rock hairline cracked began to crumble into
               piles of rock that sloughed out and tripped up the bounty
               hunters. They stumbled. Shields tipped to the side and
               vampires sunk razor sharp teeth into exposed faces. Sucked
               out eyeballs like pasta noodles. 

               It was over before it began. They not only drained them of
               blood but they ripped bones from flesh and cracked them to
               suck out the marrow. They left nothing behind that could be
               turned.

               Then the vampires turned their attention to the trapped party
               of four girls and grinned. Drool dripped off their distorted
               faces and their claws glinted long and deadly as they
               approached the tiny cell.

               Then one flying low shuddered and twisted and then clutched
               at his chest and turned to smoldering burning ash. Then
               another and another. Then they all turned and there upon the
               narrow staircase leading up from the cavern to the outside
               world stood several gnomes with torches and cross bows.
               Rapidly dipping their bolts into hip flasks off holy water
               before firing them off.

               It takes a long time to crank back the bowstring of a cross
               bow. And the respite was going to be a short one as the
               vampires realizing where this attack was coming from spun
               around and raced toward the open faced staircase.

               They never made it. For out of the shadows rose this hideous
               thin long limbed vampire that could only be their king. He
               stood thirty feet tall and his features were so twisted and
               stretched into monestrous horror that it would difficult to
               recognize the man once so handsome and noble.

               The vampire king swung his great long arm and knocked a dozen
               vampires back sending the smacking into the rock walls and
               sending the others cowering back.

               And there, somehow, was Alotta. Her eyes still blazed with a
               lilac hue and the head at her hip glowed and vibrated and
               twisted around on its beaded band as she spoke up to the
               vampire king. Who lowered his great pale elongated pointed
               head and listened.

               *************************************************************

               "I'm glad the gnomes agreed to porter our loot back to the
               inn but a third of the profits?! That seems kind of steep,"
               B. J. sighed as she looked over her shoulder at the gnomes
               who were obviously lecherously staring at the naked party
               leading them and popping little erections.

               "They did show up and save our lives," Cherie reached an
               elbow above her head and grabbed on to it with her other hand
               and stretched sending her firm large breasts into a quivering
               spasm. And sending the gnomes into a proxy fit of elbow jabs
               into each others ribs and wide smiling nods.

               "Personally, I am a little more worried about us unleashing a
               vampire horde on the world." Ivanna looked over her shoulder
               and up into the rain free and cloudless sky where dozens of
               black silhouetted figures flew in spiral circles across the
               large full moon.

               "Well it's more like they let us go... this time." Alotta
               joined the others in looking up at the swarm of vampire as
               they suddenly veered off overhead and disappeared in the
               rising mist of the Black Wood. "And at least they let us keep
               this stuff."

               "I still say a third is WAY too much. I say we let them have
               their horny little ways with Alotta and call it an even
               swap." B. J. nodded grimly. 

               "And I told you I am all tuckered out after all that magic
               and besides," Alotta sneered at Knightly. "I am not the one
               with the 'likes 'em young mommy's boy' fetish."

               "WHAT?! That- that's preposterous!" B. J. flushed shaking her
               head angrily.

               "Perv any school play grounds lately? Little miss
               dominatrix?" Alotta smiled.

               "Your bounty IS for lewd conduct with several young men in a
               nunnery," Ivanna mumbled indifferently.

               "And I told you that it was all a misunderstanding!" Knightly
               fumed. "I will be in the inn when you slow asses manage to
               show up!"

               B. J. took off running toward the distant town which was just
               now starting to twinkle its lamps on the horizon.

               "Yep. You race us there... and wait for us. Stark naked and
               penniless. And pissed off. In a bar full of drunk men."
               Cherie sighed.

               "Going to be bailing her out of jail... again." Ivanna nodded
               at the receding sprinting girl.

               "Oh yeah." Alotta sighed.

               "Yep." Cherie muttered.

               "Uh, speaking of lack of clothes why are our gnome porters
               taking off their pants?!" Ivanna deadpanned over her shoulder
               before her eyes widened and she started to run as well after
               the distant shield glowing speck of Knightly. 

               "Wait for us!" Cherie and Alotta howled as a giggling pack of
               horny naked gnomes gave chase to the fleeing girls. 
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